We all have our scars, baggage or whatever you choose to call it. It is ok to visit those times briefly but not wise to get stuck there. I met a woman who came up to speak to me and introduce herself at a recent gig. I love meeting new people and observing people as I watch the shows. Everyone is unique and fascinating in one way or another; that is what makes life awesome.
At first this young lady was pleasant and smiling as she spoke. However, things changed a short time after she drug up a chair and took a seat right next to me that evening. She began by saying that she loves live music and had heard my son once before and decided to catch another of his shows. I was happy to hear that. She then told me that at the previous performance, someone pointed me out and said, “that is his mother”. I smiled and nodded. It kind of creeped me out when she added that she spent the rest of the evening staring at me.
She watched me sing along on almost all of the songs and knew I drank diet cokes then changed to water after I had my fill of the cokes. She told me, I played with my phone like many people do these days. It was a close and constant observation, even to the point she told me when I had gone to the bathroom, after my second coke. I wondered if she had taken notes, as she continued to describe my movements in such detail.
I did not feel threatened by this young woman, I just felt a little bit uneasy. I do not consider myself as fascinating, nor worthy of someone’s constant viewing. It feels strange to know that as I watched the show someone else was watching me. I remember hoping I had not done anything weird like pull up a bra strap, or pull out a wedgie when I got up to go to the bathroom.
This person told me how sad she is because no one loves her, not even her family. I hugged her and told her I was sure she was mistaken. She got an angry look and said, “You don’t know my family, they all hate me!” I just sat there with my arm still hanging loosely around her and an awkward, half smile, half WTH look on my face. My mind was screaming, “please move on” but my heart was saying, “poor girl, she is so sad.” I did not and still do not know this person. I cannot even remember her name. I am sure she is a fine young lady. But I will notice her if I see her again and I will be cognizant of all my expressions, movements, bathroom trips, etc. because I will feel like a bug under a microscope.
I notice others at shows, I observe people too; it is all a part of socializing. I do not focus solely on one person, if I found myself doing that I would stop it. I would Never tell that person in detail about it because they may find it scary, creepy and strange. We all have our idiosyncracies and our insecurities; keeping them in check is important.
I love people watching. People staring is another story.
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