She wanted an autograph
We were in Birmingham, Alabama and my son’s band was playing a great venue called The Work Play Theater located downtown.
I had taken my older brother, my mother and her friend Lillian, on a trip to Nashville and we planned a stop on our return to attend one of Eric’s shows with his band. We got up early and drove down from Nashville in anticipation of this show. My mother and her friend, Lillian were very excited about the show because they had rarely seen him sing with his band. They spoke of it during breakfast at the IHOP and over the miles we traveled to Birmingham. We met up with Eric and drove around looking at sights such as the Iron Man statue, then they wanted to go back to the hotel to rest before the show.
We arrived at the venue and Eric got us a nice table with a clear view of the stage. He told my mother and her friend that they were at the VIP table and that made them feel very special.
It was a great show and Eric made sure to point us out for the crowd which also thrilled mom and her friend. It was break time and we decided to get up and stretch our legs while we had a chance. There was some nice artwork on the walls of the lobby so we stepped out there and checked out these paintings by a local artist. They were quite impressive but quite pricey so we just enjoyed them from afar. Lillian said she was really enjoying herself and was so glad that we planned this show on our route home. My brother was flirting with all the ladies in sight, but that was and is how my brother lives, he loves the ladies. He has these very cheesy, out of style pick up lines such as, “Hey Darling, there is only one thing a man would ever want to change about you!” The ladies always ask, “What?” He smiles and says, “Your last name.”
Another one is, “I know your husband’s (or boyfriend’s) name.” They usually say, “Ok, what is it?” His reply, “Lucky.”
I have heard him use those lines for years and I do not know how they would ever work. If a woman succumbed to those lines, in my opinion, something is wrong with her.
As I pondered this silliness, the lights began blinking, letting us know it was time to return to our seats, so we obliged.
The show continued and Eric announced that the band would be available out in the lobby immediately after the show for a “meet and greet” and they had CDs and other merchandise available.
We got up and mom said she needed to go to the ladies room. She went to the restroom nearby while Lillian, my brother and I stayed near the “meet and greet” area.
Mom came out of the restroom holding the hand of a very large breasted young woman. This young woman was very attractive and was dressed with a tight fitting red dress that was very low cut, showing her massive cleavage. She was calm, sultry and had a huge amount of self confidence, that was obvious.
My mother said that she heard this lady say in the restroom that she would like to meet the lead singer (Eric) and get his autograph but she did not want to stand in that long line out there. So, mom walked right over to her, said, “Come with me, I’m his granny and I will take you right to him!”
Mom grabbed this young lady's hand and took her right up to the front, completely bypassing the line. Then she proudly said, “Eric I just met this nice young lady in the restroom, her name is Lindsay and she wants your autograph.”
Eric turned to her and gave her a hug, then said I would be glad to give you an autograph as he looked around to see where her paper or CD or whatever it was that she wanted him to sign. Suddenly, she popped out one of her huge breasts like it was not unusual at all and said “Sign This!”
My mom turned pale as a sheet just bleached and perfectly white. Her friend laughed so hard I thought she would faint. I figured she was laughing because the whole scene was strange and she was a little embarrassed as well. My brother immediately sprung into action offering to help by holding the breast steady for her as Eric signed it.
He signed it and she thanked him. As she walked away, I heard her say to her friend, “I’m never washing this boob again!”
My mother recovered but that is all she could talk about the rest of the evening. Her friend was still laughing and my brother just had a satisfied look on his face with few words the rest of the evening.
For Eric, it was a bit of a surprise but strange things happen in the world of a musician. For me, I was surprised but not shocked like mom and her friend. I have learned so much and seen so much at the shows, it is hard to truly shock me these days.
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