What is Normal anyway?

They called her Liz...

I doubted Liz ever had inhibitions. I have never met her formally but saw her many times at a venue in Daphne, Alabama.

The band loaded in their equipment and instruments as I sat finishing up my Zaxby’s salad and watching them. Everything looked like the same old same old, and I sat alone watching the guys set up the PA and prepare for sound check.

The place filled up and my table filled up first. Many of the people who are fans know me well and they take a seat at my table so we can talk and share stories as the evening moves along.

This woman who frequented the shows and was far older than the rest of the crowd was called Liz. I too am far older than most people at the shows, but my purpose is to enjoy my son’s music and support his band. After observing Liz in the past it appeared her purpose was to pick up young guys. I had seen that on many occasions. There is no doubt that “Liz” was beautiful at one time but her beauty had faded. Some of her lost beauty was due to age but also heavy drinking and smoking had a hand in hurrying the aging process. She wore a low cut blouse that revealed very tan, and very wrinkled cleavage. Her face reminded me of one of those Chinese Shar-Pei dogs with deep folding wrinkles. Her denim skirt was too short and Liz wore lace stockings that particular evening that had so many tears in them, they looked much like the old cast net that my husband had repaired over and over. 

The crowd had begun to call her Liz because they referred to her as a “lot lizard". They had explained to me that lot lizards are prostitutes that hang out in parking lots to meet men.  Truck stops have many lot lizards, but sometimes they show up in bars as well. In her case, from what I was told, she was not exactly like a prostitute, because she paid the guys for their time and energy with her, rather than charging them.

Liz danced and she would use a pole that was near the dance floor as a stripper pole. She swung on it and embraced it and did all sorts of shocking movements with it as we watched her perform. Now this was NOT a stripping place, it was a large bar located in Daphne, right on Highway 98, but Liz wanted to be the center of attention. As the night progressed, a young man joined my table. I did not know him at all but I did know his brother who is a musician. About an hour later and much closer to the end of the evening, Liz approached my table, whispered something to this young guy and she sat down next to him as she whispered. Liz never attempted to meet me, she would not even look me in the eye so that I could speak to her. Soon she began to speak loudly to this guy. Her words were very inappropriate and outright raunchy (even for a bar setting) and he seemed to be amused by it. I said, “Hey I think you two need to take this somewhere else.” They moved across the room to a booth that was available and moments later they walked out together. 

That evening when I got home and settled into my bed, I thought of Liz. What was it she was seeking? What had happened to her that made her this way? Did anything happen to her at all? Perhaps she just liked this behavior, there does not always have to be some traumatic event or unquieted misery. I felt she was a very lonely person, but I could have been wrong.

It was not  normal to me for a much older lady to pursue younger guys, and for it to be only a sexual venture. I thought that was a role reversal, as normally older men pursue young women for sex. We are mighty creatures with individual spirits and it is not my place to decide for others. It does seem a bit unfair to call these sad ladies of the night, "lot lizards"; why don't they make it even by calling the older men who chase young women, a name. Maybe snakes in the grass? My actions are the only ones I control. I thought the situation was not normal but normal is a relative term.